Whole Wheat Irish Soda Bread

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Whole Wheat Irish Soda Bread

Whole Wheat Soda Bread

Today I had a very real lesson in the value of a good night's sleep. It wasn't pretty.

For the last month, I've neglected to mention that I started working at a patisserie. While I love making pastries for people, I don't love getting up at five in the morning to do it. Oh, the joy of a baker's hours! It has taken awhile, but I can successfully pull myself out of bed at precisely 5:12 am (so long as I immediately turn on the light. A few seconds too late and I'll find myself sleeping like a baby right through the workday). The only problem is that I can't seem to get myself to bed before eleven.

Less than six hours of sleep every night, for a month, leaves a mark. It usually takes the form of a nasty burn from a cupcake pan or a gash from a bagel knife.

Whole Wheat Soda Bread

Today my lack of sleep finally caught up with me. I had the mother of all off days. I forgot to put on my apron and only remembered after I spilled flour down my front (may it be known that I am ever graceful.). I dropped pans with horrific clanging. I charred bagels to a gorgeous shade of ash. I often wandered around having completely forgotten what I was meant to be doing or what tool I was trying to find.

Though that last one happens more often than I'd care to admit.

Whole Wheat Soda Bread

Perhaps worst of all, I went to reheat some chocolate in the microwave. After setting the timer for 30 seconds, I went back to work. After a good bit of time had passed, my coworker let out a yell as plumes of black smoke poured out the microwave. Apparently I hadn't set the timer to 30 seconds, as I had thought. Lord knows what I actually set it to.

The patisserie filled with a thick, hazy smoke. Many a coughing fit was had. Customers walked in very concerned that something was on fire and we hadn't noticed ("Is everything okay back there? Are you sure?... Are you sure you're sure?"). My coworker commented she had never seen chocolate so burnt.

Not getting enough sleep means burning chocolate. It means hurting yourself with hot and sharp kitchen tools. It means wasting time wandering around in mass confusion. It means burning pastries and messing up recipes. It means being exhausted all day, every day.

While getting to bed at a reasonable hour is hard (a month later and I'm still working at it), I've learned that getting sleep is actually important (who knew?). So, if you'll excuse me, I think I hear my pillows are calling me. It's must be time for bed.

Whole Wheat Soda Bread

Luckily, this Whole Wheat Irish Soda Bread is so simple to make even a sleep-deprived person couldn't mess it up. True story. Soda bread, if you've never made it for yourself, is a quick bread that rises without needing yeast. The bread itself reminds me of a biscuit—crumbly, dense, and ever so sweet. This tender bread is perfect served with jam for breakfast or a thick spread of butter as a side with dinner.

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Zucchini Bread

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Zucchini Bread

Zucchini Bread

About this time of year, gardens everywhere begin to overflow with ripe tomatoes, peas on the vine, fresh cucumbers, and... the dreaded zucchini. Now don't get me wrong, I like zucchini. We're real good friends when he's fried in butter with onions and potatoes. But there's only so much zucchini a person can take. Even a couple zucchini plants in the garden can produce a monstrous number of zucchini children.

And oh do those children grow up fast...

Zucchini Bread

In my neighborhood, zucchini is rampant. We've become so infested with the green vegetable, we'd certainly be doomed if they ever gained sentience and turned on us (zucchini apocalypse, anyone?). I'm not only faced with the problem of having about 10 zucchini too many, but so is everyone else. It's reached the point where we can't even give zucchini away.

Just a few days ago, someone left a bag of zucchini under the mailbox. The poor zucchini sat there for a long time, begging to be picked up, to be loved, to be eaten. It was a couple days before someone took pity on the poor souls and brought them home. You know the infestation is bad when people turn away from garden ripe vegetables.

Zucchini Bread Zucchini Bread

My parents have a running joke with friends that around this time of year you need to keep the car doors locked and the windows up because someone might just leave a zucchini in your car if you aren't careful. They've even taken it a step further and stashed zucchini in their friend's cars when they weren't looking. I have a hard time imagining my father as a zucchini fairy, but too many vegetables can mess with your mind.

If you happen to have this very same green vegetable problem, zucchini bread is a great (and delicious!) way to use up a few of your vegetables. But, if you still find you have one too many of these vegetables after baking up a storm, you could always find an open car window...

Zucchini Bread

This Zucchini Bread is moist, dense, and lightly sweetened. The bread has hints of cinnamon and nutmeg and is made with brown sugar, which gives a hint of molasses to the finished product. The best part of this bread is that you can customize each loaf with an extra touch. I made one loaf with chocolate chips and the other with walnuts (though I imagine a loaf of zucchini bread stuffed full of raisins would be a dream). Topped with a thick spread of butter or jam, this bread is perfect for using up all the extra garden zucchini.

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Garlic Parmesan Pull-Apart Bread

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Garlic Parmesan Pull-Apart Bread

Garlic Parmesan Pull-Apart Bread

I once made the driest pancake in the world.

I can see you sitting at home, staring at your computer screen, and scoffing at my bold statement. Driest pancake in the world? Yeah, right. How would you even know? But this is the truth, my friends. I really did make the driest pancake in the world.

Let me share my story with you.

Garlic Parmesan Pull-Apart Bread

A few years back, I made chocolate chip pancakes. The process to create them was normal and they tasted all right. They weren't bad and they weren't good; I ate them in peace. There were a few leftovers so I stashed them in the refrigerator for breakfast the next day.

Quickly flash to the next morning. It's 6 am. I was tired. I had to get to class early and barely had enough brain power to microwave the leftover pancakes from the day before. I don't know about you, but my brain doesn't begin to work properly until at least 8 am. After a minute on high, I took them out and proceeded to take a bite. The texture seemed off and they were ice cold, as if the microwave hadn't heated them at all. I put them back in for another minute. I was too sleepy to question this strange occurrence; it was 6 am, no high school student can be expected to reason at this obscene hour of the day. After the minute was up, I pulled them back out.

Still cold.

Confusion.

Was the microwave broken? I warmed up a piece of bread to test my theory. In 20 seconds, the bread was piping hot. Why wasn't my pancake?

I got angry, as one will when they want food and want it now. I stuck them back in the microwave for 5 minutes. I remember feeling very clever—I was going to beat the pancake at its own game.

Garlic Parmesan Pull-Apart Bread

When I took it out, the pancake was slightly less cool. Not warm, not hot, and definitely not enough heat to burn my mouth. In fact, it was probably only warmer because it had been out of the fridge for 10 minutes. What was wrong with this pancake? Did it develop magical superpowers overnight? I trashed the pancake and ate the warm slice of plain bread while running out the door.

It took me a few hours to realize what had happened. Microwaves work by hitting food with, well, microwaves; the energy from the waves are then absorbed by water or fats in the food. This process heats up the food quickly, making microwaves a quick way to cook or warm up food.

It only stands to reason that my pancake was so utterly dry that there wasn't enough water in it to be absorbed by the microwaves. I've seen plastics with a higher water content!

Thus, the world's driest pancake was born.

And to think I took a bite...

Garlic Parmesan Pull-Apart Bread

Luckily, this Garlic Parmesan Pull-Apart Bread is definitely not dry. The loaf is made of small pieces of dough rolled in a garlic herb butter and sprinkled with freshly grated Parmesan cheese before heading to the oven to bake. When it emerges, the bread is so soft, tender, and packed with flavor. The bread pulls apart effortlessly, turning a solid loaf of bread into bite-sized pieces. This bread is best served with a side of marinara or tomato sauce.

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