Cherry Cream Cheese Muffins

Cherry Cream Cheese Muffins

Cherry Cream Cheese Muffins

For the first time in my life, I'm living alone. I've moved to a city I know well, but it's been long enough since I've dwelled here that I am surrounded by strangers. Moving is about starting over, starting fresh, making new friends, and seeking out new experiences. It's building a new chapter in the book of life. Right now I'm in the "making new friends" stage and it feels harder to do now then when I was younger (of course, it doesn't help that I'm working two jobs and taking 10 graduate credits over the summer). While I have mixed feelings about living alone, I keep reminding myself that living alone isn't the same thing as being alone.

They are, in fact, two very different circumstances.

Cherry Cream Cheese Muffins

Living alone means sticking a spoon directly into the jar of peanut butter and double dipping to my heart's content. Living alone means watching an entire season of Big Love in a single day without having a soul to judge me for it. Living alone means forgoing pants when the temperatures rise without worrying about public indecency. Living alone means letting the dishes pile up in the sink until I decide I can't handle the mess. Living alone means doing impromptu dances to my favorite songs while baking and getting brownie batter all over the kitchen floor.

Living alone means creating a sanctuary for myself where I only need to answer for myself, a sanctuary I can then share with those I care most about.

Cherry Cream Cheese Muffins

Some days I do get plagued by loneliness, an inevitable factor in life whether you live alone or with others. It's hard moving somewhere new without having that network of love and support in the next room or halfway across town. That network still exists, but it's farther away than it was before. To temper the occasional lonely feelings, I treat myself to date nights; I'll buy myself a new red wine, cook myself a three course dinner, and dine by candlelight with a favorite television show sitting across the table. I'll escape into books, making lifelong friends with the characters buried in the pages. I roller blade through the neighborhood, finding a good dose of fresh air to cure most of life's ails.

Yes, being alone and living alone are too very different situations. Living alone means I can bake muffins at an obscenely early hour on a Saturday morning, banging about the pots and pans without apology. Oh, how I do like to bang around those pots and pans.

Cherry Cream Cheese Muffins

Cherry Cream Cheese Muffins are soft, sweet, and tangy. Fresh cherries are pitted, halved, and mixed into a whole wheat oatmeal muffin batter. Before heading into the oven, the muffin tops are swirled with cream cheese and sprinkled with sugar. The muffins are utterly light, with a crumb so small and so moist that they melt in your mouth. The recipe is vegan, but you can easily use non-vegan ingredients if they are already in your pantry. With a cup of tea or a mug of coffee, these muffins will brighten any morning.

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Thoughts on Going Vegan: Week 2

Week 1 | Week 3 | Week 4 | Meal Ideas & Afterthoughts

I've successfully completed the second week in my month long vegan challenge. The second week went much smoother than the first, but it did have its fair share of hills and valleys. Vegan eating is starting to feel a little more natural (and a lot less like work). Here are a few personal observations about my second week*:

  • On Monday, I awoke to a pounding headache for the third day in a row. I felt weak, tired, and sore, as if I had gotten the flu. I was retaining fluids. When I finally crawled home after a long day at work, I collapsed on the couch. A quick internet search confirmed my suspicions. I had 11 of the 13 symptoms for a protein deficiency. Twelve days into my vegan challenge seemed too soon to be having such real symptoms, but I didn't eat much protein before the challenge either (with all of it coming from milk, eggs, and turkey slices).
  • It was the first time since taking on this challenge that I began to question whether it was the right move for me. In that moment, when I scarcely had the strength to walk around, I seriously debated quitting the challenge and cooking up a frozen chicken breast hidden in the depths of the freezer. My body was craving it, needing it. I didn't give in (the thought of standing that long seemed intimidating) and headed for bed instead, with the resolve to find a way to overdose on protein the next morning.
  • Protein has been, hands down, the biggest challenge for me. So many of you have pointed me in the direction of beans, nuts, and lentils to satisfy this need. However, I am deathly allergic to tree nuts (besides peanuts and almonds) so nuts aren't really the right direction for me. I also have a confession to make—I've never cooked with beans or lentils before. Growing up, they were never a part of my diet so I've never had a positive experience with them. This isn't an excuse, of course, but it doesn't make getting protein any easier when you don't have any tried and true recipes using them.
  • For the most part, I've stopped craving non-vegan foods. Unless you waft a greasy hamburger beneath my nose, I don't feel like I'm missing out. In fact, the thought of eating cheese right now is almost repulsive because it seems like it would be way too rich.
  • There was not a single search in my browsing history this week asking "Is _______ vegan?" I'm getting better at this game.
  • I still struggle with finding a quick lunch during the week that's vegan, but filling enough to hold me over until I get home from work 7 hours later. I've started making hummus sandwiches and, while they taste all right, I find my stomach growling 4 hours later.
  • For the first time since starting this challenge, I can start to imagine what it is like to be vegan while surrounded by non-vegans. It's similar to those (like me) with allergies, where you can't accept "foreign" foods and have to eat on your own before you visit with friends (or pack your own meal). It's certainly not convenient, but it's starting to seem closer to the realm of "doable."

After the second week, I feel a little more comfortable with being vegan and it doesn't seem to take as much willpower as it did the first week. I still struggle with my on again/off again protein deficiency (when I wake up with a headache and no other symptoms, it's my body's way of giving me a warning sign), but I'm trying to open myself up and consciously base every single meal around protein rich foods, like chickpeas and quinoa. Let's hope week three is much healthier (and headache free)!

*I mean no offense to those who have gone vegan for moral beliefs and obligations (in fact, you have my utmost respect). This is just a record of my personal experience with the lifestyle.

(The photo above features a vegan hot dish I threw together with a wine sauce, peppers, mushrooms, and onion with soy meat that looks/tastes quite similar to the real thing).

Vegan Chocolate Chunk Cookies

Vegan Chocolate Chunk Cookies

Vegan Chocolate Chunk Cookies

I would be lying if I said vegan baking wasn't a challenge. As both a professional and home baker, butter and cream have become my nearest and dearest of friends. Scarcely a day has passed in the last few years where we haven't created beautiful things together (or, at the very least, greeted one another when I opened the refrigerator door). I like to imagine I've developed a feel for baking—for the elasticity of bread dough beneath my fingertips or the proper weight of a cookie balanced on an outstretched hand. I've grown so much as a baker in the last couple years, from my hesitant beginnings to here and now.

Vegan baking, however, makes me feel like I've started back at square one.

Vegan Chocolate Chunk Cookies Vegan Chocolate Chunk Cookies

I made a promise to you when I took on this challenge—to use familiar, everyday ingredients and keep the recipes approachable. Little did I know it was much easier said than done. There are so many recipes out there that use "faux" versions of butter, eggs, and cream in place of their real counterparts (and the recipes just don't measure up). While I know butter isn't good for me, I can't imagine partially hydrogenated soybean oil is going to be any better. I can't even buy vegan egg replacement in my neck of the woods.

The vegan recipes I want to share with you aren't intended to be lesser versions of originals, but rather unique and delicious on their own accord.

Vegan Chocolate Chunk Cookies

With these lofty goals, I approached the kitchen last weekend feeling confident. After scraping half a dozen inedible delights into the garbage can, it was obvious I had come up short. Somewhere between the banana bread and the brownies, I lost hope in any of my baking abilities, growing frustrated by the deceiving scents wafting throughout the apartment. I gave up. Good riddance, I yelled at the batter splatted spatula and dirty mixing bowls as I threw them in the sink.

I made granola instead.

Late Sunday evening, when the sun hung low in the sky, I crossed my fingers and gave vegan baking one last chance. And it worked.

Vegan Chocolate Chunk Cookies

Vegan Chocolate Chunk Cookies are soft baked and chewy. The batter may be a little unusual to put together, but the final product, scattered with chocolate chunks, is a treat. While these may not replace your go-to recipe, they are a lovely dairy-free, egg-free cookie for feeding friends and family who may have allergies. I brought them to work and nobody could guess they were made without butter. I call that a success.

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